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Last Nite in Newburgh (The Bombs Bursting in Air)!
Last evening in Newburgh, New York, where my wife Claire and I had gone to watch fireworks, we were treated to a display of wantonly suggestive dancing from a biker chick with a pasty complexion, a distended belly, and the requisite multiple tattoos. So wanton was this person’s cavorting that Bosco of Bosco & The Storm, who were providing the entertainment, was apparently asked to announce, “We’re playing it clean, and you need to dance it clean,” this, mind you, mere minutes after a song (entitled, I think, "It's Hard") unashamedly about sexual arousal! Claire noticed there wasn’t a male or lesbian in the vicinity not slack-jawed with lust, or at least amazement.
When B&TS took a break, our lascivious rug-cutter bummed a cigarette from one of her admirers and then drifted from view, leaving us at the mercy of a local dignitary who asked us to observe a moment of silence for the brave men and women of our armed services who are fighting to keep us free, and then led us, whether we wanted to be led or not, in a prayer to an unspecified Father, making the pantheists among us long for the biker chick.
By the time B&TS returned, the two female singers without their pole-dancer shoes, the area in front of their stage had been commandeered by slightly older versions of the little folks who have made the Piggy Bank’s weekly Tiki Nite such a nightmare, them and the increasingly insipid roots music. One precocious tot, in a Dustin Pedroia jersey, breakdanced (brokedanced?) with rare gusto, and complete inattention to tempo. Our biker chick reappeared in their midst, and no one dared breathe, but she did no worse than point congratulatorily at the young breakdancer, rather in the way a basketball player will point to a teammate whose wonderful pass has enabled him to score a field goal.
Later, the bombs burst in air and we found ourselves immobile in woeful traffic. It made one proud to be an American.
Over to you, Charlene.
When B&TS took a break, our lascivious rug-cutter bummed a cigarette from one of her admirers and then drifted from view, leaving us at the mercy of a local dignitary who asked us to observe a moment of silence for the brave men and women of our armed services who are fighting to keep us free, and then led us, whether we wanted to be led or not, in a prayer to an unspecified Father, making the pantheists among us long for the biker chick.
By the time B&TS returned, the two female singers without their pole-dancer shoes, the area in front of their stage had been commandeered by slightly older versions of the little folks who have made the Piggy Bank’s weekly Tiki Nite such a nightmare, them and the increasingly insipid roots music. One precocious tot, in a Dustin Pedroia jersey, breakdanced (brokedanced?) with rare gusto, and complete inattention to tempo. Our biker chick reappeared in their midst, and no one dared breathe, but she did no worse than point congratulatorily at the young breakdancer, rather in the way a basketball player will point to a teammate whose wonderful pass has enabled him to score a field goal.
Later, the bombs burst in air and we found ourselves immobile in woeful traffic. It made one proud to be an American.
Over to you, Charlene.
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Kristen Cronin on -
While it’s clear that Newburgh has its share of problems, there are also a lot of really amazing things going on there.
The Liberty Street area, near Washington’s Headquarters, is booming. St. Luke's Hospital, from what I've experienced, is extremely efficient. Not all of the restaurants on the waterfront are to my taste, but there’s one small café there that is wonderful. And thank goodness for the Downing Film Center... it’s the closest place in the area to see an independent film. Broadway is still a little rough around the edges for the most part, but you can still find a fantastic Peruvian restaurant (Macchu Picchu), a whole heap of excellent and very authentic Mexican restaurants, a chocolate shop (Commodore) that's been going strong since the 1930's, etc. Lots of outstanding architecture all around, as well.
It’s going to take a while for Newburgh to bounce back the way Beacon has, but they're making some honest-to-goodness strides there.
(Also, last I checked, everyone was allowed to use the train, no matter where they live.)
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Permalink Reply by Chuck Pompeii on -
Sheesh. This was supposed to be a referendum on wanton dancing by biker chicks with bad skin. Look what it's turned into! You should be ashamed, all of you! Oh, just for the record, I'm all for wanton dancing by biker chicks with bad skin.
As for St. Luke's, I drove myself over there last September after a local teen hit me with her car in the middle of Main Street. A doctor spent around 28 milliseconds with me, and ordered X-rays. 10 months after the fact, St. Luke's has still not mastered the concept that I'm not liable for the $977 they charged for these services.
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Permalink Reply by Stacey on -
Please share the names and locations of the "heap" of authentic Mexican restaurants in Newburgh. My husband and I used to live near Portchester and loved some of the traditional taquerias and South American joints there. We haven't had luck finding anything decent in our area. I'd love any info you can share, thanks!!
Kristen Cronin said:While it’s clear that Newburgh has its share of problems, there are also a lot of really amazing things going on there.
The Liberty Street area, near Washington’s Headquarters, is booming. St. Luke's Hospital, from what I've experienced, is extremely efficient. Not all of the restaurants on the waterfront are to my taste, but there’s one small café there that is wonderful. And thank goodness for the Downing Film Center... it’s the closest place in the area to see an independent film. Broadway is still a little rough around the edges for the most part, but you can still find a fantastic Peruvian restaurant (Macchu Picchu), a whole heap of excellent and very authentic Mexican restaurants, a chocolate shop (Commodore) that's been going strong since the 1930's, etc. Lots of outstanding architecture all around, as well.
It’s going to take a while for Newburgh to bounce back the way Beacon has, but they're making some honest-to-goodness strides there.
(Also, last I checked, everyone was allowed to use the train, no matter where they live.)
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Permalink Reply by Chuck Pompeii on
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Well, then it's that rare case of our disagreeing , Charlene. 'Tis my belief that non-resident biker chicks who are willing (or compelled!) to writhe lasciviously in plain view of Impressionable Youngsters should be allowed to park free, especially on a Thursday evening, when their presence might serve to decrease the incidence of same at The Unashamed Carnivore's weekly Tiki Nite, or wikli Teeky Nite. Far better wanton biker chicks than toothy earth mothers lacking any sense of rhythm!
Charlene Vesuvius said:Sorry CP, if parking permit fees for non-resident biker chicks were upped considerably, we'd all be better off.
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Permalink Reply by Dan Rigney on -
Newburgh Mexican suggestions: Los Portales which is the taqueria directly next door to Macchu Picchu on Broadway. Sundays are pork shoulder days-great cheap soft tacos-buy them by the 3's. There is also a pretty good mexican grocer next door to that. Los Portales is mainly open for lunch and breakfast. There is also La Amistad grocery and bakery - best conchas in Newburgh - 74 Mill Street. Groceria up front, but go in a ways and you'll see the wall of baked goods. Best early weekend mornings for fresh breads.
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Permalink Reply by Chuck Pompeii on
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I will not deny that I am intrigued by this idea of "directly next door." As opposed to next door, but actually two doors down? But can we please TRY to stay focused, people? Must I resort to all-caps? THIS WASN'T SUPPOSED TO BE ABOUT MEXICAN FOOD! This was supposed to be about wanton writhing and pantomimed fellatio within full view of impressionable youngsters by bikerbabes in bandanas.
If you want a nonsatirical PG dialog, start your own thread! I'll say it again: sheesh. (Eating pork is low-grade cannibalism. Have you people not listened to The Smiths?)
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Permalink Reply by Dan Rigney on
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But...I was hungry.
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Permalink Reply by Chuck Pompeii on
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Oh, Dan. You're ALWAYS hungry. Can you not put your own needs behind those of the adorable small person on your shoulders just for a minute or two? Once more, together: sheesh!
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Permalink Reply by Anne Lynch on -
Can I just say-- for the Supreme Biker experience--go to our own Notions and Potions Store. It's the best!
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Permalink Reply by Chuck Pompeii on
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Oh, it is not! We've been in there twice. On neither occasion was anyone acting remotely inappropriately. It ws about as sexually charged in there as at a Gap outlet store.
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Permalink Reply by Anne Lynch on
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Well this week is Second Saturday! I feel the tension in the air already!
Chuck Pompeii said:Oh, it is not! We've been in there twice. On neither occasion was anyone acting remotely inappropriately. It ws about as sexually charged in there as at a Gap outlet store.
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